Day 10 and something a little experimental. I was caught in this conflict today – stuck between Librarian and Writer whilst at work. Felt like I was being torn in two. So, here’s my dual brain dichotomy. (Fingers crossed the formatting works…)

Don’t look at me.                                                                    Look at me.

These words are not me.                                                       These words are

I am not these words.                                                             everything I am.

When you read these words,                                                  These words define me,

you are not reading me.                                                          outline me, give me purpose.

I am not the mind behind that story.                                        I explore the darkening corners

Stop looking so frightened – as if                                            of my mind, root out the

I am the psycho in that story.                                                  Nightmares, put them on display.

Those are just words.                                                              Naming the fears gives them

Not me.                                                                                    shape, makes them known, so we

Don’t look at me like that.                                                        can all rest easy at night. Not

I wouldn’t do such awful things.                                               lay awake wondering are there

Why do you think I am capable of …                                       monsters in cupboard is that a

How can you think I could possibly … ?                                  killer huddled at the foot of my

That’s not me. It’s just a story.                                                 bed will I die in my sleep?

I’m a person, not a monster.                                                    I give breath and shape to the

Though I’m not much to look at…                                            creatures of your fears, so you

Stop looking at me like that.                                                     can know them and name them

I wouldn’t dream of hurting you.                                               and never fear them again.

I could never hurt anyone.                                                        These words let me be the hero,

I’m not that strong. Or vicious.                                                  take charge, be in control,

I just write down words,                                                             be daring, defeat the monster,

just ink on paper, or black marks                                               or be psychotic, become the

on a screen, words which are even less                                    Monster, and peel faces back

real, because they are virtual.                                                    to make them my own.

I am real, the words are only stories.                                          I breathe life into the stories,

Nothing more, nothing less.                                                        make the words dance across

Do not judge me by my words.                                                   your mind – the better the dance,

Do not fear me because of those words.                                    the better the story is.

I am more than those ideas.                                                    Judge my words for the story

But please, I beg you,                                                             they make.

do not believe that those words are me.                                  Each word is a piece of me.